Delizioso!!

As always, I have found myself in another sticky situation involving a new male interest, only it's of a different variety this time. Let's just say that my new favorite type of cuisine is Italian...

I met this guy in a bar about 3 weeks ago....yada yada yada....and we hit things off pretty well. I know what you're thinking my dear readers. Why would I even consider a guy I met in a bar? For the most part, the types of guys in bars tend to be of the creepy/sketchy/mouth-breather variety. Usually I follow by my strict "no men from bars" protocol and leave well enough alone, but this particular gentleman threw me for a loop. For starters, he was the bartender, truly uncharted territory for me. Secondly, he was Italian, another new venture for me. Lastly, he was devastatingly good looking.

I'll admit it. I've dealt with my fair share of attractive men, but this guy is the hottest by far. On the standard 1-10 attractiveness scale, he was a solid 9 for sure, not that this intimidated me. It just made me realize that I had to handle him a bit differently. Needless to say, he got my phone number after asking for it, and the night didn't end before we exchanged bodily fluids (take that however you want, you sickos!). My current dilemma stems from the fact that now I must engage in the painstaking task of waiting for/hoping for him to call.

Of all the things that I hate in the world, waiting for the initial call/text from a guy I'm interested in is my most despised activity. I would rather have my eyes gouged out by Lysol-tipped wire clothes hangers than engage in this pathetic activity, and yet I must endure the agony. The worst part is........I really want him to call. I would like to get to know this guy a little better, but the decision is ultimately up to him. If I didn't care about the outcome so much, or if I wasn't so interested in the guy himself, things would be a lot easier, and yet neither scenarios are the case.

I think it sucks that he has all the cards right now and I simply have to wait for him to show his hand, so to speak. I feel like I'm suspended in time, like I'm helpless in this situation. Another aspect of this conundrum that bothers me is that the patterns of male telephone usage when it comes to girls are about as sporadic as Lindsay Lohan's mood swings. I have no way of knowing whether he will call today, a week from now, a month from now, or even at all. I have to sit by idly, hoping for a phone call that may never come...

So, I need your advice my beloved readers. After you give a guy your phone number, what do you do to keep your mind off of it? How do you keep the faith that he will call, or how do you recover if he doesn't?

Hungry Like the Wolf

Have you ever been to a store and seen an article of clothing that you just had to have? Has your mouth ever watered at the sight of a particular dessert on display in one of your favorite restaurants? Was the feeling so strong that it felt like you would be willing to give up your first born child (Rapunzel style) just to get it? Well, I've been feeling like that lately, only the object of my eye is of the male persuasion...

I'm going to spare the short attention spans of my readers by making a long story short. About 4 months ago, I met a guy at my job (let's call him Joe) that took my breathe away the very first time I saw him. It sounds cliche, but that is the only way I can describe how I felt at that moment. It was like being struck by lightning (but without the charring part). He and I grew pretty close for awhile. Although things ultimately turned sour between us, I can't help but think about him. This is due to two key factors. Firstly, I still work with him. It's kind of hard to "wash that man right out of my hair", if you will, when I see him practically everyday. I know I brought this on myself as well. It's usually a given that one isn't supposed to "dip their pen in the company ink", but I simply couldn't resist. He was much too tasty to pass up, but I digress. Secondly, it's hard to not think about him when I still have feelings for him.

I don't know why this particular guy has had such an effect on me. I can only attest it to one thing; animalistic, pheromone-driven lust. It's almost indescribable in a way. When I saw him for the first time, I was so drawn to him. I noticed everything about him physically and knew I had to have him. For a short time, I did have him, but not long enough in my book. So here I am, single (again) and desperately trying to get him out of my mind. I know eventually that it'll all pass, but, as of yet, there is no end in sight. So, I ask you my dear readers, what can I do to speed up the process? What are the best ways to get over someone (besides crying into the dashboard while listening to Foreigner)? I can't wait to hear from you.

"Why'd you have to go and make things so complicated?"

If there is one thing about dating and relationships that I can't stand, it's mixed signals. Whoever thought it was a good idea to bring uncertainty into the mix when it comes to matters of the heart needs a swift kick to the face with a cleat. Honestly, what good does it do, besides giving one the appearance of indifference (why is that even a good thing?)?. 

As of recent, my love life has been in quite a tizzy. To make a story short, I have been hanging in a state of perpetual limbo. I'm not really sure where I stand in my relationships (or semblances of them), and it is driving me mad. What ever happened to the days of true courtship? What about the days of making one's intentions known early in the relationship instead of fumbling with the details later, especially when the situation has become more complicated?

Case in point, I recently met this guy at a house party hosted by one of my friends. He seemed really nice and well put together, not to mention that I felt really intense chemistry between the two of us. Obviously he felt it too because he kissed me before the night was over. As we went our separate ways, his parting words were, "I'll be around". That was it. Honestly, what kind of ending is that? I was expecting us to exchange information, possibly make plans, the whole shebang, but I guess I was way ahead of myself. As you can tell (from the sheer ire wafting off of your computer monitor right now), I haven't had any contact with him since then. It's truly upsetting when someone with potential slips through my fingers. It's like having a bite of the sweetest treat, then learning that you might not get to have it ever again. 

Part of my frustration comes from the fact that, somehow or another, people believe that they are supposed to treat love like some sort of game. There are "The Rules" of dating, and people are supposed to "play hard to get". Why does it have to be this way? Why make something that is already complicated by nature even more difficult? It's like, "Hey, if this rubik's cube wasn't difficult enough already to solve, now you have to solve it blindfolded while upside down." I just don't see the benefit.  

The other part of my frustration comes from the fact that I'm a girl who has been suckered into some of "The Rules" as well. Because I have girl parts (yay girl parts!), I've been told by countless people that I shouldn't make the first move on guys. I feel forever bound to the role of the damsel in distress, helplessly waiting for the prince to save me (even if he does get sidetracked on his journey by playing his Xbox 360 for days on end). It's a trap I tell you!! If you wait patiently, sometimes the knight never shows up. Also, if you don't wait and try to be the proactive one, men lose interest because they miss "The Chase". If you pursue them, suddenly you aren't as appealing to them as you were had they tried to break their necks to get you.

So, here I sit, hoping to magically run into my mystery man again by chance, and I am hating every minute of it. I hate uncertainty, especially when it comes to dating. Does anyone else feel the same way? Have any of you had an experience similar to this? If so, tell me about it in the comments section. 

You're So Vain (You Probably Think This Post is About You)

I have a confession to make. I am sort of obsessed with the website "hotornot.com". It's not an extreme case, but enough to make me further question my sanity.

If you don't know, hotornot.com is a website where people rate the physical attractiveness of others on a 1-10 scale (1 being the lowest in attractiveness while 10 being the highest). Anyone who wants to can upload their own photo and get a "hotness" score of their own, which is subject to change with the amount of votes cast. When I first read about it, I thought it was quite clever. Everyone at some point in their lives has wondered about the magnitude of their own looks, wanted to know where they place on the physical beauty totem pole, if you will. Now that I have become well acquainted with the site, I realize that the system itself has many perks and flaws. On one hand, one's physical attractiveness (or lack thereof) is, in a way, verified. On the other hand, the ratings themselves are subjective, opening the doors for malice and bias.

I once knew a girl who, whenever she went on the site, automatically rated any girl as a 1. Even if a picture of Charlize Theron popped up, she would have given her a 1 as well. When I think about this, it makes me wonder just how accurate the scores are. I can only speak for myself when I say that I honestly try to give objective ratings of people whenever I cast them. Giving girls automatic ratings of 1 out of spite is not my style, but if I feel that a 1 is truly needed (*I haven't done this yet. I can't imagine what a person would have to look like in order to warrant a score of 1. Perhaps Chewbacca?), I will give it.

Having received my own hotness score, I couldn't help but think about how important good looks are in our society. If people are willing to subject themselves to this kind of evaluation, myself included, then it must be pretty valuable. Are we living in a world were we are all participants in an unspoken beauty pageant? And, if so, I wonder what state I am (maybe Virginia? I like Virginia!).

What do you think about this my faithful readers? Is the above true? Are we constantly being evaluated, and evaluating each other's looks? And, just for kicks and giggles, what physical attributes do you find to be the most attractive?

PS: If you want, you can follow the link below and find out your own attractiveness rating.

http://www.hotornot.com/

New Years Eve......and Single

So here I am, the night before New Years Eve, contemplating whether or not I want to wear heels to the party I'm attending (*Deciding whether or not to wear heels to any event for me is like asking me whether I would enjoy a swift kick to the face. 9 times out of 10, the answer is no). While pondering the fate of my poor feet, I was also bombarded by thoughts of what the party would be like. Call me uncool......but this is the first real New Years Eve party I have ever attended. Most years, my New Years is spent watching the ball drop on the television with my family. It's also spent, strangely, with me laying face down on the ground. My mom is absolutely convinced that a stray bullet from nearby rowdy revellers might come through a window and smite me down, so she makes us lay on the ground to get out of harms way. We live in a nice neighborhood and all, but she is always worried, just like clockwork.

Anyway, as I thought about the party (which is boasted to include fireworks, tons of games, and loads of food), my mind somehow wandered to the thought of what I would be doing when the clock strikes twelve. Sadly, this year, it pains me to say..................I'm single.....

I know that having a significant other isn't a prerequisite for partaking in New Years merriment, but it still feels, I don't know, off to me. I blame this on media representations of what a truly "rockin" New Years entails.

It never fails. There is always a large party already in motion. Booze is flowing like water, and so is the confetti. Suddenly everyone notices that it's close to midnight. Everyone huddles around the TV, watching as the ball drop is about to begin. Then, it starts;10-9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1 HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!! People lose their minds. People make toasts, sing Auld Lang Syne, and above all else..........kiss each other

As trivial as it may be, I would like that, to kiss the one I care about (at the moment anyway) as we bring in the new year. Of course there are alternatives. I could pull the ole "make out with a complete random stranger" or "hug your best gal pal as a substitute" or the best one "talk to the house plant while completely intoxicated" maneuver (*Don't pretend you haven't done that one before. We've all had our moment with a really "understanding" fern tree once. I am just woman enough to admit it).

As I toss around these options in my head, I become aware of the fact that none of them are appealing offers. So, what's a girl to do?

I'm not quite sure yet about it. I don't want to be a complete floozy around my friend's other guests, yet I don't want to be the awkward loner, mysteriously canoodling with the vase full of flowers either. That is why I leave the decision to you, my dear patrons. Any suggestions about ways to make the New Years moment not so bland?

Welcome Fellow Dreamers!

I've always wondered if something was wrong with me. Ever since I can remember, my mind has been preoccupied with the concept of love. It would be easy to think that I was just another young girl, swayed by the energy drink fueled- love machine I like to call "Disney", but this is not the case. I distinctly remember feeling what I thought was love WAY before seeing Beauty and the Beast (which I think was the first Disney movie I ever saw). Chasing a cute little blond boy around the sandbox and trying to hug him to no avail during kindergarten recess was my favorite pastime. I don't exactly remember what his name was (maybe Ryan?), but he helped to form the beginning of what I'd like to consider my love life, for better or worse...

Ever since that initial infatuation, I have been like a crackhead, looking for her next fix, if you will. Not a day goes by where I don't ruminate about love and it's complications, consequences, ramifications, etc in a wax-poetic fashion. Call me crazy if you want.................I'll be standing right next to you, nodding my head in agreement.

I know my obsession with that one little word is a bit extreme, but it seems to be in my blood. Thoughts of it never cease (whether I'm in a relationship or not). I also have a strong passion for writing, so combining the two seemed the most logical thing to do (besides buying a hoveround, even though I'm in my twenties. I'll explain my sick obsession with those things in a later post).

Anywho, my point is that I want to ruminate about that glorious word with others. Perhaps it will be an extremely cost-effective form of therapy for me (yes, I'm kind of cheap). But, more importantly, this may be a way to garner insight and different perspectives on things. I may be opinionated, but I am also a glutton for really great discussion.

So, what do you say? Are you brave enough to hope aboard this crazy train with me? Are you ready to make your brain cry uncle when trying to dissect things to their very cores?

Good, then you're my kind of people. Welcome aboard. Your seat is down the aisle and to the left......


PS: Feel free to comment and discuss as much as you want. It will make me very VERY VERY happy.